Pardon me, I speak Jive
Randy: Can I get you something?
Second Jive Dude: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!
Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
First Jive Dude: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!
Jive Lady: Oh, stewardess! I speak jive.
Randy: Oh, good.
Jive Lady: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.
Randy: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine?
Jive Lady: [to the Second Jive Dude] Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da rebound on da med side.
Second Jive Dude: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!
Jive Lady: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da help!
First Jive Dude: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up!
Jive Lady: Jive-ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Shyyyyyyyttt

After reading the first post,i would like the second lesson to discuss.....
Learned and learnt Sir.

$$http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2f-MZ2HRHQ&sns=em

$$http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNZ1O2KTOOg&sns=em

Remove $$ to use. Use $$ to buy a dictionary.

I am ready to turn in my assignment. I thought I was going to be late, but I made it here in time.

Find the equation for a line containing points (3,7) and (2,3).
y-y1=m(x-x1)
y-7=4(x-3)
y-7+7=4x-12+7
y=4x-5

Whew that sure was tough!! Hope I receive a good grade. Well I have to go to ENG 101 now and I do not want to be late. The professor can be a real hard #%%!

McFate wrote: Okay Professor PH.

They're all there in their places waiting for your instruction.


Oooh, Ooooh! I've got a question!

If I'm "taking the lead" does that mean I'm in front or am I getting shot down?

MR. MCFATE!!! You have already been warned! Please join your classmate, Crazy Wolf, for detention. Headmaster Bopes will provide details on instructions.

Mr. BTJ,
You sir, are interrupting the class with this useless math garbage. Nobody and mean nobody will ever use that junk! You can join Crazy Wolf and McFate!

Bopes,
Please add Mr. McFate and Mr. BTJ to the escort list. Might I suggest that McFate moves the toilet around while Crazy Wolf holds the brush? If you choose to take a further suggestion, Mr. BTJ can hold McFate while he moves the toilet.


And for the information of the entire class, the misrepresented photo of myself which BTJ posted was actually me instructing those very challenged football players on the correct method of being tackled. If you pay close attention, it is very similar to the way I instruct Wigbomb on how to be correctly shot down.

Educators... Still the most under-appreciated profession.

Attans , jag kommer att få urusla betyg.
Hoppas att jag slipper kvarsitting.
Är det lika dåligt att skura toaletten med en tandborste
som att tappa tvålen I duschen?

Dear professor, my social worker and my phych says i need an increase in medication. Would you recommend that at this point of my life.

My public defender thinks i should but my parole officer says no. Im very confused.

Will I ever be normal like PED.

I dont mind all these voices in my head but they are all women voices. My new GPS in the car has a women's voice, all i need is another women telling me what to do. I want to kill my GPS. I believe in UFOs. Will I be ok.

I feel like Rodney Dangerfield. No respect.... ENGLISH 101 Herr Bellsaj.

Bopes, let Striker know he's off the hook. Herr Bellsaj will be taking escort responsibilities as he will also be in detention.

Now for my Star Pupil... Davy, medications are highly over-rated. Those female voices are real. You think the government has spooky mind tricks? They've got nothing on mothers and wives. That's the voices. They've figured out when they are talking and you are looking intently at them that you still are NOT listening. Once you've mastered your ignoring powers and THEY figure it out, they start in with the mental voices. You are perfectly sane, my boy.

Let me see if I can assist. Say you're in a Bomb the Base game. Some new young gun has finally figured out that if he takes you head-on he's going to lose. So he switches tactics, drops his bomb and corkscrews at you. Sound familiar? Do you just sit there and let him sneak past you to shoot you from behind? Well, of course not. You're going to change your tactics too. You're going to drop your bomb, slip past him and shoot his evil red backside, right?

It's the same thing Davy. Drop your mental bomb, do some crazy move to get behind those voices and shoot them in back. They'll never see it coming. Here's the best part. Once you beat them, if you just "pretend" to still be slightly off balance they'll think you're still listening to their head voices. You can go along in peaceful bliss. You must remember to smack your left ear every once in a while and scream stuff like, "NO, YOU shut up!

There feel better?

Dear Mr. Head,
In my defense, I submitted my math assignment to the wrong classroom, which means my math instructor is reading my critical analysis paper on Walt Whitman's poem, "O Captain! My Captain!". Darn!! We all know math professors cannot read. I do believe my punishment is perhaps a little strict in comparison to my "crime". I mean really? I have to hold McFate while cleaning the head? He wears a kilt for the love of Pete. As for your response to the picture of our football practice. You believe what ever you need to in order for you to sleep at night.
Sincerely,
BTJ - Thunder from Down Under

I knew it...
All I said was:

Darn , I will get abysmal grades.
Hope I don't get detention.
Is it as bad to scrub the toilet with a toothbrush
as dropping the soap in the shower?


And what happens..
punishment chores and detention

NEXT- Dr. Parrot's Spelling Bee

Parrot- spell their

Contestant- Sentence please

Parrot- They're going to build their house over there.

Contestant- *walks away*

There are strange people in DogFight. Kinda like High School. There is also teachers, bugs, snakes, parrots, lessons, games, and classes. Also like High School. Professor, I propose next class session to be on the subject of proper grammar, as well as the proper spelling of such words as "grammar" itself, as well as the spelling descrepinces and rules involving "it's" and "its".

Thank you PARROT, i had a horrible nightmare last night, i dreamt my wife had turned into a democrate, an Obama supporter, and a supporter of Obama care. I woke up screaming and thrashing my arms with my hands on her neck. It scared her as much as me.

Why would i have such a terrible dream, im scared to sleep now. What should I do.

Parakeet wrote: There are strange people in DogFight. Kinda like High School. There is also teachers, bugs, snakes, parrots, lessons, games, and classes. Also like High School. Professor, I propose next class session to be on the subject of proper grammar, as well as the proper spelling of such words as "grammar" itself, as well as the spelling descrepinces and rules involving "it's" and "its".

Or distinguishing between descrepinces and discrepancies

Firstly, my young bird, "it's" past your bedtime. Go to bed before your backside loses "its" skin.

Secondly, it's dis·crep·an·cy.

Lastly, you're grounded.

Davy,
Your political woes and angst are your own. No advice here. However, if you can't sleep... Play DogFight!

For everyone and despite my offspring's ill-timed post, there is a lesson here.

It's - this is a contraction for "it is" or "it has". If you cannot replace either of those phrases for your use of "it's", you are wrong.

Its - is a possessive descriptor. This is the same as his or her, but is gender neutral. For example, "the dog was chasing its tail".

BTJ, just the thought of McFate's kilt and the horrors that may be beneath are punishment enough... You're excused.

Me likeds that moovie very many.

Mr. H
Here is my assignment. Can you guess the rest of the sentence?



When is lunch?

BTJ582 wrote: Mr. H
Here is my assignment. Can you guess the rest of the sentence?

When is lunch?

I know...I know.... you are a pecker-head!

Dear professor PARROT. Please help me

I have fallen in love with FOX 1 (aka foxy foxy foxy) fox is number 1 in my eys.

At first i was in love with MISS HELL, then MISS SEXY AND NOW FOX-1

I want to ask FOXY about an online relationship to see where it leads. Do you think fox will? What if I am rejected? How will I handle that as i could be the laughing stock of the forum if i am rejected?

At first i was turned off about the long snout but after a few fantasy s I am now looking forward to it.

PLEASE HELP. Love sick Davy.

Davy Crockett wrote: Dear professor PARROT. Please help me

I have fallen in love with FOX 1 (aka foxy foxy foxy) fox is number 1 in my eys.

At first i was in love with MISS HELL, then MISS SEXY AND NOW FOX-1

I want to ask FOXY about an online relationship to see where it leads. Do you think fox will? What if I am rejected? How will I handle that as i could be the laughing stock of the forum if i am rejected?

At first i was turned off about the long snout but after a few fantasy s I am now looking forward to it.

PLEASE HELP. Love sick Davy.

Ahhem, ahhhh Davy.... How to say this right... Do you have something to tell us?


Fox#1 is male... Please explain... Or on second thought, keep your personal life to yourself.

The proper way to end your letter would have been:

PLEASE HELP!
Love,
Sick Davy

Oh good lord.

Davy I reported you to P.E.T.A

It seems I owe you an apology, Mr. BTJ. Can you please explain to me at what point I indicated that it was acceptable to quiz ME? It seems I have missed it.

You are no longer excused. Trying to upstage the Professor is inexcusable! DETENTION! For you punishment, you must clean McFate's kilt and anything therein. I will leave it up to him whether it is removed first or not.

Mr. Mantz.... Never mind.... It's funny enough to be overlooked.

Mr. Crockett,
This is NOT the school counselor's office. I entertained your previous requests for advice out of kindness. That has been exhausted. You predilections for hermaphroditic canines are not appropriate for this class.

Mr. Jacklpe,
Sir, have you ever heard of separation of church and state. Those kind of comments will not be tolerated.

Mr. C,
Your comments have the ring of hate-speech. This will not be tolerated either. Unless of course, (in keeping with other principles of public education) it is directed at white male Christians. It also helps if they are over 40.

Parrot- It seems to wrong to me how such a liberal, and presumable socialist, professor like yourself could enact a dictatorship in his classroom. It's almost as if the two go together, but we all know THAT couldnt be right, Lenin was only a little socialist.
As a silent protest, I will release biogas from the rear in your classroom everytime i enter, until the current government resigns or dies of asphixiation. All are invited to join my protest except Mantz (if you've ever been to a nursing home, you know why we can't let him protest). If this doesnt work, we will stop. We won't use lethal force because guns kill people. I saw a shotgun load itself and commit murder just the other day.






This is a joke, filled with sarcasm and gas, and mantz, feel free to release whatever you want, just for others sake, not in public.

Mr. C,
I have noticed your "protest". Let me assure you it is anything but silent. To date, I have let it go without comment, as it seems to be the most intelligent thing I've heard from you yet. In my class, as with nearly all classes, I expect and appreciate the opportunity to help special needs students be the best they can be. Thank you for your participation.

BigC5798 wrote: As a silent protest, I will release biogas from the rear in your classroom everytime i enter, until the current government resigns or dies of asphixiation. All are invited to join my protest except Mantz (if you've ever been to a nursing home, you know why we can't let him protest).
This is a joke, filled with sarcasm and gas, and mantz, feel free to release whatever you want, just for others sake, not in public.

WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHERE I CAN PROTEST? I FOUGHT FOR YOUR 1ST AMENDMENT RIGHT! FREEDOM!

Never mind....I'm going shopping....

$$http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMJPrNQxPNA&sns=em
Remove $$ to use. Use $$ to buy TP.

Sorry. I didn't realize that this was "public" education. I'll uh um see you guys later. Yeah. Uh later.

lol

ParrotHead wrote: Mr. C,
I have noticed your "protest". Let me assure you it is anything but silent. To date, I have let it go without comment, as it seems to be the most intelligent thing I've heard from you yet. In my class, as with nearly all classes, I expect and appreciate the opportunity to help special needs students be the best they can be. Thank you for your participation.

My AutoCAD teacher hated this one guys in our class because he never did anything and never shut up. One day, the kid sneezed loudly and our teacher just said "that's the most intelligent thing ive ever heard you say. He was definitely not polically correct, and he called me Carrottop because of my long red hair. He was a good teacher and i figured yall could appreciate this.